14 Awkward moments with Sister

Awkward moments with Sister , How many of you have faced this ?

Never Argue With Woman

Never Argue With Woman
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

HATE LETTER

Read this “Hate Letter”. It is so creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl…. However, the girl’s father does not like him and want them stop their relationship. …and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl’s father will definitely read this letter……

Read this letter and then the message after it :

“The great love that I have for you

is gone, and I find my dislike for you

grows every day. When I see you,

I do not even like your face;

the one thing that I want to do is to

look at other girls. I never wanted to

marry you. Our last conversation

was very boring and has not

made me look forward to seeing you again.

You think only of yourself.

If we were married, I know that I would find

life very difficult, and I would have no

pleasure in living with you. I have a heart

to give, but it is not something

that I want to give to you. No one is more

foolish and selfish than you, and you are not

able to care for me and help me.

I sincerely want you to understand that

I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

if you think this is the end. Do not try

to answer this. Your letters are full of

things that do not interest me. You have no

true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,

I don’t care for you. Please don’t think that

I am still your boyfriend.”

So bad!!!!!!! is it???

However, Before handing over the letter to the girl, The boy told the girl to “READ BETWEEN THE LINES”…

Read the Alternate Lines.. [ 1,3,5 etc... ]

Funniest Wife Reply

Funniest Wife Reply
A Husband working in UK wrote to his wife in India.

Dear Sunita Darling,

I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.

You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.

Your loving husband,

His wife replied

Hey hubby

Thanks for the 100 kisses.

Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

2. The electricity man, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.

3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of
the monthly rent.

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only,so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.

5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.

Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can survive the month using this balance.

Shall I plan the same for the next month?

Your Sweet Heart

i love you mom

TRUE STORY THAT HAPPENED IN CANADA

A baby boy David was born to a certain family.

The mum was so excited that she hardly put him down.

One day she left him sleeping and went to the garden.

When she was there, the house caught fire and
she ran back home as fast as possible to save her only son.

People tried to stop her but they didn’t succeed.

She went in and found the baby untouched.

Unfortunately her hair caught fire as she was going out and she started burning.

It was very bad for the rest of her life because she had to live with a scar.

The boy grew up and became very rich and shifted to town.
But in the real sense, he was ashamed of his mother's scars.

When people asked him, he would say,
"l don’t have someone so ugly in our family as my mother".

One day his mum overheard how his son was telling people and she was very disappointed.
She decided to travel to town to explain to his only son what had happened and the reason behind her ugliness.

But unfortunately, the bus she was travelling with, got an accident and the mum died instantly.

The boy heard of the news, and felt very happy.

He then rushed to the village and found people sad.

He just passed them and went direct to her mother's room to search for important documents.

He was shocked to find her MUM's oldest DIARY BOOK written,

DATE: 5th Sept 1980.I was announced the WiNNER OF MiSS
TORONTO BEAUTY CONTEST.

DATE: 14th Jan 1982.My husband Tonny Gateson passed away in road accident and left me six months pregnant.

DATE: 2nd July 1983.I saved my only son David from a fire and I ended up loosing my hair while scars left on my face.


David felt too bad and started crying,but it was TOO LATE!TOO LATE!

PLEASE NOTE:
Never try to Abuse or Ignore your Parents.They are a blessing to us and you will cry when they are gone.Now, yoU have two thing to choose.
1. To SHARE this story to friends.
OR
2. IGNORE as nothing has happened.


Press LIKE & write, “I LOVE YOU MÜM" if you truly love her..

Wrong number

Wrong number ~ Very Very Funny.. Must Read
A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:

“Hi honey,this is daddy.Is mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.

“After a brief pause daddy says,“But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”

“Oh yes I do,and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”

Brief pause,“Uh okay then,this is what I want you to do:put the phone down on the table,run upstairs,knock on the bedroom door,and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”

“Ok daddy just a minute....”

A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.

”"What happened honey?”

“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked,ran round the room screaming,tripped over,and knocked her head on the staircase,now she is not moving at all.”

“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool,but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”

After a really long pause this time... Daddy says,“Swimming pool,but we don't have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”

“No,this is 486-5713” “Sorry wrong number....!!!!”

The Smiths

The Smiths

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry!” she said. “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this, Honey?” the husband inquired, as he entered the room.

“Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too.”

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. “Here,” he said to the ‘statue’., “Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith’s for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water.”